Thursday 7 December 2017

Surprising Losses that Need to Be Grieved

a post by Margarita Tartakovsky for the World of Psychology blog



We think that the only time we grieve is when a loved one passes away. But it’s important to grieve all sorts of losses. Moving. Graduating. Retiring. Ending a relationship (even if you’re the one who ended it). Being diagnosed with an illness. Recovering from that illness. Starting a new job or even being promoted.

In short, a loss can be anything, negative or positive. As marriage and family therapist Cheryl Beatrice said, “If we can be connected to it – whatever ‘it’ is – then we can grieve its loss.”

One loss also can spark secondary losses – a kind of domino effect of losses. For instance, you’re getting a divorce. It was your idea. It was something you’ve been wanting for a long time. But when it finally happens, you feel the heavy weight of sadness on your shoulders.

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 I have read through this a couple of times and realised the ripples that moved through my life after my dog died of cancer last year. I’m over it now and there is now a new dog in the house but I have learned to recognise why I curled up and gave in to many of my insecurities.


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